After launching Remembrance on Kickstarter, the realisations doesn’t seem to stop. First of all, Ive worked so hard on this project. Thousands of pictures, hundreds of photoshoots, revisions, setbacks, awards. It`s been blood, sweat and tears, literally. I remember the last photoshoot we did, at Romstjern just a subway ride outside Oslo. It was awesome. My dear model Heide was glowing in front of the camera, while I was glowing behind it – we were flowing. Then my daughter Freyja`s crying got me out of the flow.
It was daddy`s watch since I was occupied with the shoot, and you know – something always happens on daddys watch;) This time an ant had crawled up and bit Freyja right below her eye, and poor Freyja was crying hard, either of discomfort or probably surprise. Either way, mummy to rescue. Some nursing, some cuddling and then nap time. Before Heide and I wrapped up our best photoshoot ever.
This juggling of both skills and attention, while having the energy to do it all – it was something I would never have imagined myself capable of five or six years ago. Because I had not yet felt how it is to be driven.
When mum died, the artist within me was born. Period.
Pushed to my limits due to loss and desperation I was given no other choice than to rely on my most powerful tool to cope through it – creativity.
And I did. And it has been awesome. And terrible. Inspiring and terrifying. And now I see why. When the artist within me was born, I started dying. Or at least the one I thought I was. The quiet female, the hardworking employ, the conformed citizen. It all died, to give birth to the self reliant, inspired and beautiful artist I am today.
The Kickstarter project was never about publishing a photobook
Or making it to the international art scene.
It was about getting free. Free from all earlier perceived beliefs about my self, free from being small, free from being conditioned. Free to perceive reality as it is. To love it as it is. To know that if this book is meant for a bigger audience, life will take care of it.
Digesting Grief Through Creative Expression-Workshop
While writing this post a little voice inside me told me to update the Kickstarter page, letting everyone know that All overfunding of this project will go to host a Digesting Grief Through Creative Expression-Workshop at Nøsen Yoga and Moutain Lodge in Hemsedal, Norway, fall 2018.
Pretty excited about how life is going to respond to this new approach of mine.